Growing old disgracefully

Next year I will be the big 50.  It is an age that has crept up on me it seems.  Originally, I wanted to look at women approaching the menopause as this is a difficult stage in many women’s lives. However, having thought about it, I think I want to look at ageing and what it means to me.  How I felt about it through the years.  The positives and negatives of ageing.


I want to explore different ideas I had about the age I was at. How I thought I was fat and unattractive when I was 14 yet, looking back now, I was not at all and I wish I could be as fat and unattractive as that now! How a career was most important to me.  Then marriage and children. Depression, anxiety and panic attacks.  By 30 I was separated and a single mum. Moving away from my hometown which was not the done thing in my family.  Marrying again and being a mum again at 39.  Re-inventing myself career wise. Acceptance of medical conditions etc.  I am not very good at looking inwards so this will be a challenging project for me.

Asking the question....

Whilst this project is primarily about me, I decided to ask some of my female friends what advice they would give their 15 year old self.

I got some great responses!

    • Not everyone will like you and there’s no need to worry about that. I’m 43.
    • Don’t constantly worry about what may happen, live for now and enjoy the moments. I’m 44.
    • So much I’d say to myself at 15… one would be to forget boys, concentrate on yourself, friends, quality sleep! Be confident in your own skin, don’t waste time trying to keep pace with others. Spend more time with those who won’t be around to watch you grow and listen to their wise words!
      I’m 55 years young! 😀
    • Me I would learn to love your self before boys I’m 37
    • Don’t try to make everyone happy at the cost to your own happiness, do not do to please others just please yourself… 46 years actual (18 mentally😉) 💓
    • All of the above but I doubt I would listen. I’m 49 😂
    • Trust your gut instinct & go for it…I’m 48
    • Forgive yourself quickly, Love yourself before anyone else and don’t accept anything less than you deserve. I’m 32 🙂
    • Don’t worry so much about what others think- do what makes you happy! I’m 48
    • First piece of advice, don’t go working for your parents and secondly, if people don’t like you for yourself, then it’s there loss. And I’m 69
    • I’d advise myself to knuckle down and pass your exams and then work your ass off to get a phd and a career to be proud of. Be happy and confident with yourself and if you happen to cross paths with the idiot who you did make the mistake of marrying then run in the opposite direction and FAST! I’m 49 😳
    • Don’t start smoking. I’m 47
    • They are insecure, not you. Fat is not always ugly. I am 72.
    • Dont be afraid you can do this ♥️ 38yrs old
    • Sorry if this is too “disgraceful” but one of them would be never fake an orgasm. Because if the person you are sleeping with can’t be bothered about your pleasure, you shouldn’t be massaging his ego.Also, try to be less judgemental, but more discerning. I’m 47
    • Mine would be to go for a career first and concentrate on having a family after. I’m 29
    • I would tell myself to have more confidence and you are loved by your family even though your parents are going through a divorce. I am 39.
    • I would tell myself it’s ok to be me. 49
    • I’d be telling myself to look after number 1 and don’t allow others to get you to do their dirty work. I was 65 in May.
    • Stop coasting, yes you’re smart but it’s not enough. You need to work hard or you’ll regret it for the rest of your life? !! I’m 40
    • Dont be afraid to try something new, Its better to try and fail than never try and always wonder.. 40
    • I’m 39 I’d tell my kids brought you up to be respectful too others get a career and enjoy life xxx
    • You have it so good👍🏼🤣 oh and don’t have kids – they turn into teenagers 🤦🏽‍♀️😱 I’m 50 x
    • Firstly, don’t let peoples comments get to you. Their opinion on you is irrelevant.
    • Secondly, keep ya fucking legs closed. 😂😂
    • To ‘live a little’ and be more confident. 39 yrs
    • Work hard at school! Don’t start smoking and respect yourself and your body. Im 50 xx
    • Not to care what others think age 37
    • Its better to regret something you did then something you didn’t do I’m 47
    • Save ur money, now I’m 44
    • Not everyone has the same morals, respect and consideration as you…. sadly I still make that mistake and I’m 58!
    • Always just do your best in life, build your confidence, stop worrying about what others think of you and never forget your dreams and ambitions. Age 56 🙂
    • Be true to yourself, don’t put on an act for anyone if they don’t like you it’s their loss.
      Take chances & live life to the full. I’m 54 x
    • I would tell myself I was good enough and my morals with stand me in good stead for life. I would tell myself not to worry about other people’s opinions and to live for my own self… I’m 35 now and have spent a long long time being disappointed and hurt cause I’ve tried to stay loyal to people who have had no intentions of being as loyal to me. So ultimately I guess I’d say always be happy with myself
    • I’m 35 I’d tell my 15 year old self to believe in myself and not to be so soft in situations, stick up for my self
    • I would tell my younger self not to worry about exam results and to smoke weed with my friends 🤣🙈
      I’ve always wanted to try it as they are always happy. 42 and never smoked weed