My Life in Selfies

Tommy is Nik’s Bearded Dragon but he’s kind of become mine!  His viv is right by my seat. And the beauty on the right is Rube who is a Panther Chameleon.  I’ve got two chameleons, my other one is a Yemen called Georgie.  She is not the happiest of chameleons! But Rube asks to come out of his viv and just loves sitting on top of my computer screen. Although it wears off on a while and he starts to wander.  That’s when he goes back in his viv!

I have a large amount of animals. I find they really help with my mood. My python is called Claudia and she’s 4 years old. Nuzzle is my cat, he’s 5 and is just like Bagpuss!

Sunday after the night before. Despite having slept most of the day before, I’m flat out on the sofa. My depression often makes me feel like this. I don’t like the light in my eyes hence the towel.

DJ pictures. This is me behind the decks. The first picture is on the night I was feeling very low and the second is a week later.  The difference in smile is very noticeable. I thought I showed a happy face but I can see the difference.  My eyes don’t smile with me when I’m sad.

It’s been a long time since I’ve gone downhill emotionally so fast. We went out for breakfast on the Saturday morning.  When we came back, I went back to bed.  I just didn’t want to be awake.  When I’m asleep I don’t have to think about anything. I don’t know exactly what brought this on.

I had to get up to do a disco later on.  It was a good gig and the little girl called me DJ Kat!  Made me laugh.

Today I had a hot cup of coffee and this is what happened.  HOT FLUSH.  It’s so not good.  See I started without a headband and ended up having to put it on to feel more comfortable.

This is the face of a mother who knows her son is going back to school that day after being a week!

Today we went to a funeral of an old soldier. Funerals always make you feel of your own mortality and that of your loved ones.  Seeing his wife so upset was awful. They had been married for about 50 years.

Then I typed up my blog and talked about the start of my depression.  Even after all this time, it still makes me cry. Hence the very attractive pictures above.  I had to take them quickly because I didn’t want my 9 year old to see me upset.  I don’t have a problem that he sees emotion from me, it was more to do with having to explain to him why I was upset.

Ta da.  The colour being put on and ‘cooking’.  I get to sit on the toilet seat for 25 mintues listening to my audio book and playing mindless games.

Hair dye time!  Once every few months I have my hair professionally coloured.  Because my hair hates life and needs washing most days, I sometimes have to ‘top up’ this colour with a home dye.  Unfortunately money has been tight the last few months so I haven’t been able to have my hair done.

I’m a boring old fart now, I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t go out a lot and having my hair done is one of my greatest pleasures.  I get to chat with my friend who has done my hair over the last 7 years and I feel much better for it.  It helps lift my mood.  I can’t be arsed with make up and all that jazz but having the grey covered with bright colours does it for me.

Semi-permanent purple has been hard to find over the last few months and it took a trip to town to get this baby (and a spare box for next time!). Bye blue, hello purple.

For the love of God Samsung, enough with the smoothing tool.

Me and Jamie Jim Jam at the cinema on Sunday morning.  We do this a lot.  It’s nice mum and son time.

Feline love of my life, Peggy Sue.  This little girl wandered into my life 5 years ago. She was a stray.  I tried to find her owners but she wasn’t chipped and no-one came forward. This little lady is my furry anti-depressant. I love her dearly.

Morning! Had a lie in next to a wriggly 9 year old. How tired do I look and I haven’t even gone to work yet!

Post disco set up picture.  I’ve taken my headband off and dried my hair.  My phone has put some kind of filter on the picture, smoothed me out nicely! Nice hanging down chin – another getting older joy.

When I look in the mirror I see my sister.  My sister is 10 years older than me!

The thing that bothers me most about getting older are the bastard grey hairs.  I’ve been getting them for years and they are truly the work of the devil.  They are thicker than normal hairs and wave about like beacons announcing their arrival.

I always had highlights in my hair to cover the little nightmares.

Some years back we photographed a wedding and one of the bridesmaids had lilac hair.  I loved it. And for sometime after I kept saying I wanted purple hair.  And then one day I just did it. And my hair has been many different colours since.

I see this as part of my confidence growing.  I would never had done this earlier in my life because people would judge.

This face is very pissed off with Facebook who has chucked me off for reporting my cousin’s hacked account.  They want me to provide ID but it won’t bloody accept it. Student Finance are mucking us about with getting our money.  We may not be able to continue with the course. This face is not happy.

This is the face of a mother who has left her wonderful but trying son at Sea Cadets and has 2 1/2 hours of peace and quiet. 2 1/2 hours to spend with her hubby having a nice meal.